One of the most painful ingredients of human life is the moment of judgment. When you are judged for your worth, when you are judged for your talent, when you are judged for your value.
Many of us have the ability to judge ourselves the best. Most would agree that it is the most honest moment in the life of an individual. Your own rating of your ability, your strengths, your weaknesses are never flawed. It is rare when at times you surprise yourself in your own judgment. It is indeed rare, when others agree and match their assessment with yours and indeed so destroying when they do not.
Facing rejection is the most cruel biding. But facing the face of rejection is unbearable. At least for me. I would be most inefficient in rejecting. Every time I watch a reality show on TV on the announcement of the elimination of the contestants, I would myself die a hundred deaths. That moment for me as an audience is most disconcerting. I was once appointed judge for a speech competition when in college, and I swore after that, that I would never want to be in a chair where I would have to pass judgment on another fellow human, in similar circumstances. What and how do you address the rest of the contestants, all turned up in their best, that they are lesser than the other. How can one human be less than another ? Having participated in many stage competitions i must say Those moments have been the most painful. I would rather not be there. Taking sides in an incident for me – an issue that I as an individual, find difficult to cope with. I would rather submit and withdraw than feel the hurt that the other has been subjected to.
Many denounce me for this my temperament. Those that have access to a personal comment on me will invariably propound – ” Stop trying to be such a noble, stop trying to be Mahatma Gandhi !”
No !! It is not about nobility or Gandhism, its about the quality of my nature, my construct. I do not question its righteousness or its error, I merely express my within. This is how it is and this is how it shall remain.
So yes I watch many of the reality shows on TV with great interest and expectation, but I also invite with it on myself, the figure of rejection on others. Everyone will not win in this contest, or in life. There will be losers too. But rather than submit to fate and resign, I would want to accept that ‘so long as there is life, there is struggle’, and with that continue to keep banging against an unbreakable wall, not with any expectation that it shall give way, but with the belief that I would never have known that it would not, if I had not tried.
Ahh !!! Too philosophical for early morning
Spent sometime on the piano after long, fiddling with the keys and frustrating over the fact that I never trained to comlete the learning course .. perhaps someday I shall. Someday. Someday learn a few more languages, of my own land first and then of the international. Someday discover my country and its wealth of history culture and ethics. Someday read all that I never did read. Someday not follow routine and schedule. Someday be free from commitment to others for others. Someday be with myself, alone, away in thought and isolation … and just live …
Life without your affection and love would not be living …
Many of us have the ability to judge ourselves the best. Most would agree that it is the most honest moment in the life of an individual. Your own rating of your ability, your strengths, your weaknesses are never flawed. It is rare when at times you surprise yourself in your own judgment. It is indeed rare, when others agree and match their assessment with yours and indeed so destroying when they do not.
Facing rejection is the most cruel biding. But facing the face of rejection is unbearable. At least for me. I would be most inefficient in rejecting. Every time I watch a reality show on TV on the announcement of the elimination of the contestants, I would myself die a hundred deaths. That moment for me as an audience is most disconcerting. I was once appointed judge for a speech competition when in college, and I swore after that, that I would never want to be in a chair where I would have to pass judgment on another fellow human, in similar circumstances. What and how do you address the rest of the contestants, all turned up in their best, that they are lesser than the other. How can one human be less than another ? Having participated in many stage competitions i must say Those moments have been the most painful. I would rather not be there. Taking sides in an incident for me – an issue that I as an individual, find difficult to cope with. I would rather submit and withdraw than feel the hurt that the other has been subjected to.
Many denounce me for this my temperament. Those that have access to a personal comment on me will invariably propound – ” Stop trying to be such a noble, stop trying to be Mahatma Gandhi !”
No !! It is not about nobility or Gandhism, its about the quality of my nature, my construct. I do not question its righteousness or its error, I merely express my within. This is how it is and this is how it shall remain.
So yes I watch many of the reality shows on TV with great interest and expectation, but I also invite with it on myself, the figure of rejection on others. Everyone will not win in this contest, or in life. There will be losers too. But rather than submit to fate and resign, I would want to accept that ‘so long as there is life, there is struggle’, and with that continue to keep banging against an unbreakable wall, not with any expectation that it shall give way, but with the belief that I would never have known that it would not, if I had not tried.
Ahh !!! Too philosophical for early morning
Spent sometime on the piano after long, fiddling with the keys and frustrating over the fact that I never trained to comlete the learning course .. perhaps someday I shall. Someday. Someday learn a few more languages, of my own land first and then of the international. Someday discover my country and its wealth of history culture and ethics. Someday read all that I never did read. Someday not follow routine and schedule. Someday be free from commitment to others for others. Someday be with myself, alone, away in thought and isolation … and just live …
Life without your affection and love would not be living …
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