It's funny

It`s funny how hello always ends with a goodbye,
it`s funny how good memories can start to make you cry.
It`s funny how forever never really seems to last,
it`s funny how much you`d lose if you forgot about your past.
It`s funny how friends can just leave you when you`re down,
it`s funny how when you need someone they`re never around.
It`s funny how people change and think they`re so much better,
It`s funny how people forgive even though they can't forget,
it`s funny how one moment can contain so much regret.
It`s funny how ironic life turns out to be
but the funniest part of all, it isn't really funny when u are going thru it.

Composing a Life...

I assume you are a human
 If not, welcome to the planet, and I’m sorry about all those terrible sci-fi movies.

If you are a human, you have a head, which is useful for hanging sunglasses on, but it can also cause a few problems.

Life is Chapters
 You’re a book. You are born in chapter two. (No-one likes to think about what their parents did in Chapter One! Actually, Chapter One is also all about your heritage, your roots, your whakapapa.) The chapters have rolled on, one after another – perhaps some good, some bad.

The book isn’t finished yet
 Maybe, right now, you are in the middle of a rotten, hard, tough chapter. It’s a stink chapter. Stink chapters often contain this lie: “This is how it’s always going to be.” Yes, it may be a shocker at the moment, but the moment isn’t forever. The rest of the book of your life hasn’t been written yet. Even if your book has had a tragic start, you can choose how your story is going to turn out.

Many people just watch their lives happen the same way they watch a TV programme happen. They are interested to see how it’s going to turn out, but they do not really believe that they can change things. Why settle for a lousy, B-grade life?

You are the script-writer, director and star of your own life. Why not write yourself a great script?
You are an anyone. You can do something with your life.

Change means moving on
 “Yeah, right, fine. Easy to say, hard to do. How do I get the life I want while I’m still super-glued to the life I’ve got now?” To get from the life you’ve got to the life you want may take time, and it may be hard. But you can get there… as long as you’re prepared to move on.

Growing Up....

It's a funny thing... Growing up

Because you never know what you want. And sometimes you wonder if you ever really will.

You want to be independent. You want to be strong. You want to stand on the tips of your toes, stretching towards everything that life has to offer you, to taste a coffee that you bought for yourself at a café, while poring over texts full of loves, lives and living. But at the same time, you want to be at home, listening to your mother’s woes and worries as she runs around the kitchen, making you laugh. You want your dad to hug you and you want to hear, feel and smell everything in that little touch, years of love and dependence in that one embrace.

You want to make a name for yourself, a career to perform, you want to love working and working hard. You want to love loving your own work and admiring it at the end of the day. But all in the same moment, you want to be out and free with friends, chilling at park or the beach, laughing and fighting. Just the same as always.

You want to grow, but you want to keep the past with you, as part of yourself forever. You want to experience love. The truth of it, the things that all the books talk about, the songs and the poems, the emotions that course through lovers when they’re with each other. But at the same time, you want to hold onto little crushes and feelings, you like the simplicity of it all, and you know that someday it will all be different.

You want to be by yourself for once, you want to know that everything at home is your own, not shared with anyone else, not made and brought forth by others. But you also want to be taken care of, loved in ways that aloneness will never provide. You want protection, but you desire to escape the shell of it.

Most of the time, in the growing up years we never know what we really want. It comes with being in this middle stage of neither-here-nor there. It’s special in it’s own right. It has it’s beautiful moments; a first kiss, the first salary earned by oneself, a passion, a fire, burning ambition unique to this stage alone, quiet moments at windows, listening to the pitter-patter of rain and feeling all the freshness that follows. As I was told when I entered my teens, “It can be the best or worst time of your life.”

We all doubt. We all wonder where, how, and most importantly, WHO we will turn out to be. But though it’s difficult to understand sometimes, it’s important that we know that we’re not alone. Not by a long shot. And though we sometimes fear we will lose ourselves that should never be a concern, for you’ll only ever know the value of something once you lose it. And don’t worry. Because eventually you will wade back to where you are meant to be, or if not, swim off into rivers fresher and more beautiful than those you left.

It can’t be promised that we will grow up to be just the way we want to be, just the way we imagined ourselves. But it can be promised that everything about your future, every bit of it is in your hands. So step out there. Mould it. Make it. Believe. Love. Dance. Dream. Do. And don’t look back. Because it’s just not worth it.

A bit of what life has taught me . . .

.
 1.Siblings are the best thing in the World. They may  hit, fight, cry and make you wanna pull your hair out, but they will never let go.
 2.Parents, they just want the best for you. They will never easily appreciate anything you have done. Not because they are unhappy, but because they want you to do even better next time.
 3.An idle mind is a devil’s workshop. More the time you spent alone, the worse will it all get.
 4.Milk Chocolate is the best. My favorite –> Cadbury Dairy Milk Chocolate.
 5.God, He exists. But only for those who believe.
 6.Miracles never happen on their own. You have to make them happen.
 7.Planning – what to do next – never helps. You need to put your foot down and starting working.
 8.Home is where heart is. . .family is.
 9.No place, no task is pleasant if you force yourself in it.
 10.Accept it, everything happens for a reason, make the best out of it.
 11.Good friends are hard to fine, so don’t let go once you have found yours.
 12.Never regret your actions in the past, cause that is what you wanted then.
 13.Anger and ignorance takes you nowhere. So sit down, talk and sort it out.
 14. Paulo Coelho's books are really good. Everyone should read them.
 15.Being fat or skinny does not matter. What you are from the inside makes all the difference.
 16.An ‘F’ in your report card is not the end of the world. Its just time to prove yourself to the world.
 17.First impression is the last impression.
 18.If you ever face injustice, stand up and speak. Sitting quiet cause no one else is talking might lead to a disaster and all you can then do is blame yourself for being a coward.
 19.Quit being a complainer about everything that happens. If you think something ain’t right….well set it right!

Aahh, this post will be edited every once in a while and the list will keep increasing I guess.

 

The Beauty Of Sight...

Eyes…vision… sight… We are all blessed with it. That is the main reason why you are sitting in front of your laptop/computer right now and reading this!

We all want to experience a lot in life, want to SEE everything, but we don’t realize the true value of this blessing, the value of our eyes. And the few who do realize it, its only when they are debarred from it.

Here is just something I have to say about The Beauty Of Sight…

Since the beginning of time,
Or as I’ve been told,
Mankind have been blessed with,
The sense of sight.

 

Though I know not of the use
For I only see the terrors of the world.
Life as itself can only be the reality
Not the dreams that you imagine it to be.
A lost world is blurring in my vision.

 

My view is fixed to the
window of my own beliefs.
Though I haven’t seen many sights,
I can see that everything only
Means something if you look.

 

My eyes can only reach the horizon.
What is beyond those borders are unknown.
“So much is left outside,”
Where nothing is sure.

 

I want to believe,
But I cannot conceive,
The images that are meant to be seen.
Only if there is a cup full of passion,
Filling the mind and the void.

 

I have no choice but to become,
The role I was born to fulfill.
I’m like a ship without a star in the night.
To have no destination is to have nothing.
I cannot find the path
Of my destined fate.

 

If I gather my lucky charms,
And seek the true path,
I shall be given my future on a platter.
It is then that I truly see,
The beauty of sight.

 

 



Celebrating... Imperfection

There is nothing ever wrong with being wrong. It’s just the thinking of a hypocritical society that drives you to accept this notion.

Imperfection is the driving force, the reason why you still get up, every single day thinking that you have to achieve, that you have to be better, that you have to gain something or rarely in fact, that you have got to live coz you still haven’t lived it perfectly.

You’re not the most talented person in the world? Face it. There are more than 6 billion out there.

You don’t speak much in front of people? That’s alright.

You don’t look like an offspring of Angelina Jolie? That’s alright too.

You’re not a leader- not everyone is.

You don’t make good decisions? Time to make some…time to play fluke with some too.

I love being imperfect. And trust me, you’ll love it too. When you accept that what you are isn’t anything bad. When you accept that the school of life has some occasional recesses- and that you just got to play when their time comes.When you accept that you have to learn- at every step, at every moment. But either ways, you’ll still be imperfect. Coz there’s always something that you have left out- and that is just what makes you feature at the top of a Perfect List.

Confused?

People always are..

Random Thoughts!!!!

A sudden string of random, cascading thoughts blowing through my mind, each making less sense than the previous one…… Let me share them with you dear friends, for your own sanity's sake????

1.) I want to become old. Becoming old is silly. You forget things, and WORST of all, you have grandchildren. Scrawny, jumpy little things. What on earth are you supposed to DO with them? I’m a grand child, and since day one, I have taken it up as a personal responsiblity to harass all old people (frankly i love their company, grandma tales)…. Let my own even come NEAR me, and I WILL whack them with that stupid walking stick…

2.) I want a new Phone. my old one is stupid. Everyone, from my professor in college to The new baby in town has attacked it, dropped it, and basically, man handled it. It now makes funny, silly sounds on a regular basis.

3.) Veg food is tasty. But nonveg, no way. Nonveg doesn’t agree with me. No nonveg. Indigestion.

4.) My feet are VERY large. Very, very large. Quite Hagrid- like, really. Baby dolphins. I’ve been told that if I ever decide to kick anyone, they’d be knocked into the next province.

5.) My hands are big, too. Very big. Again, Hagrid-like. Dustbin lids. I miss being small. And tiny. And normal.

6.) What will going to college again be like? Fun? Testing? Difficult? Ultimate?

7.) I’ve been thinking of turning my blog into a part review site. What say?
8.) Will my mom ever be able to live without me?
9.) How will anyone ever convince me to get married?

10.) 13 is unlucky. I don’t like 13. Do you?

11.) 14, much better. Will I ever STOP daydreaming?

12.) Randomness, missingness, leavingness…..Do I just basically use ‘ness’ too much?

13.) Will I ever really dance in the rain? Or is it way too slippery to do so?

14.) Is boredom affecting my mental stability?

15.) Was I a pyromaniac in my last life? Wait, wait, wait, do I even believe that I HAD a last life? Why am I so addicted to fire? Oh, look, a candle!

16.) Do I like the fact that I have not done ONE productive thing in the month gone by?

17.) Will life's results ever, EVER be declared?

18.) Will it ever, EVER snow in Mumbai?

19.)Do bald men use soap or shampoo on their heads?

20.) Will I really become an author? Do I want to become an author? If not that, what the hell will I do with my life?

21.) I didn’t want to end on 21. 21 is so disproportionate. I don’t like 21. Therefore, let’s end on 22.

To the World, in general,
I’m crazy. So sue me!

Sometimes I miss my childhood!

Before you read here’s something I want to say.
This one is just out of emotions… Remembering those days, seeing old friends and watching those beautiful old pictures, sometimes has an effect.

I would like to dedicate this one to all my friends in hostels, far from their homes and a few who really are feeling homesick these days… and also to those who will be far from their families in future

Don’t go for the rhyme (Which is “abcbdd” by the way) and just try to feel, who knows you might like it as well

I remember the time when dad was the most powerful man in the world…
I remember the time when I actually used to sleep in nights..!
I remember how I used to snuggle into my mummy's arms…
And how afraid I was of heights…
I remember when I didn’t know what clever or cunning meant and everything I knew was good…
Sometimes I miss my childhood..!
 

I remember the time when mom’s lap was the snuggest bed for me…
I remember how small things made me happy which now I can’t describe…
I remember how precious a small pencil could be…
And how ecstatically I expressed things I used to imbibe…
I remember how everyone spoke the language of love to me and no one was misunderstood…
Sometimes I miss my childhood..!

I remember how an outing meant everyone together…
I remember how our love wasn’t restricted to Mother’s and Father’s day…
I remember the taste of the food mom made especially for me…
and how I never laughed when instead of happy, someone said gay…
I remember how playing in streets was in our routine and we were the champs of the neighbourhood…
Sometimes I miss my childhood..!

I remember how I used to rise early and go to school…
I remember how polishing the school shoes was also a duty…
I remember the assembly, the periods and the friends…
with whom how a treat meant a pack of chips and a frooty…
I remember how we didn’t care for the future and how we scribbled on those tables of wood…
Sometimes I miss my childhood..!

I don’t say I want to relive those days…
Neither do I complain against the life I live…
But I just wish things were simple again…
and we could live freely, without worries and see what pleasure it can give…
What all I want is an unassuming life although with all its excitements, and would steal those moments, if I could…
Sometimes I miss my childhood..!

Ps: The Thought For This One Was Strengthened After I Read This By One Of My Favourite Authors

“Another Belief Of Mine: That Everyone Else My Age Is An Adult, Whereas I Am Merely In Disguise.”—Margaret Atwood
 

Life is too short

It takes so much time to discover. Discover your identity, what you want to be, and your ambition.

After discovering, it takes so much time to accept it all. Sometimes, there is a part of you that doesn’t want to be what you are.

Your eyes fall on the person next to you, and you want what they have- their beauty, their popularity, their wit, charm- just about anything.

Something about their personality – that you suddenly want to infuse into your own.

Say, there’s nothing wrong with wanting to do that. That is an absolutely normal feeling but it’s normalcy has got conditions. Namely- you don’t lose your individuality while conducting the transition and secondly, subtlety is a good choice in this case.

Once you’re done with the acceptance, transitions and finally you start enjoying life, you realize that you’re going to die tomorrow.

Life is too short.

Well Apparently...

Well apparently you never are a child.

Well apparently you should never talk your emotions out and keep it inside, so what if its kills you?!

Well apparently you should never keep your hopes high. Even when you get the worst! stick to it, that’s what its meant for.

Well apparently if you want to cry, well hold it right away! Cause no one really cares. All your emotions and feeling are meant to stay within you!

Well apparently you are always wrong, at-least for the other person, yes you are.

Well apparently if there is trouble, its all your fault.

Well apparently if you are confident and sure of what you want from life stop right there cause you are wrong! Because you are the over confident piece of shit who deserves nothing but a harsh downfall.

Well apparently strength is just a mirage, a hallucination. Don’t believe in it, its like a glass slab, it will shatter with your words.

Well apparently your own don’t know you. So, all that can be done to make things easy is give it up!

Well apparently you should not strive for the better. If you get stuck, just CHUCK!

Well apparently you cry when you see a decade to the front without them. Just stay silent.

Well apparently all you complain about your life was your side of the selfish story.

Well apparently you must stop dreaming, stop talking, start bearing, stop feeling, you mustn’t have tears. Just believe that you were never a child. Just believe that and you will grow into a fine adult.

I knew all of this already, Didn’t need an ugly confrontation just to hear that.

The world will be blurred.

There, much better.
I have to try, though. Will try not to feel, not to think, not to dream

Thank you, world. It was a lovely day. Until next time

 

Because you are my MOM....

Because you are my mom you loved me before I was ever seen
You thanked God for this miracle, this little human being
So exciting, yet fragile it all must have seemed to you then
Hearing my little heart beat inside you, now life begins

Because you are my mom no pain was too great for you to bear
Now you’re a mother and I your child with joys and pains to share
And so into this world my life began each breath now on my own
One day we will look back at just how much I’ve grown

Because you are my mom you worried for me within your every bone
You finally let go of my little hand to take my first steps on my own

Because you are my mom you showed me through the years
To care about others and their feelings and the things that they hold dear

Because you are my mom you taught me right from wrong
Understanding that my faith in God will forever keep me strong
Showing me that being my own person is the only tool I’ll need
When morals and values are your foundation to succeed

Because you are my mom you loved me enough to also be my friend
You would be right there in ways that no one could see or ever comprehend
When there was no way I thought you could ever understand
There you would be, non-judging and willing to lend a hand

Because you are my mom, God’s gift to me was you
As your daughter I will always love you and promise to be true
I thank you for so many things and will try to never make you sad or blue

Because you are my mom, and one-day I will be a mother too
I pray I never forget all that you’ve been through
I am your daughter and in your image I am proud to be
By the grace of the Lord you were created, and then I came to be

just something I wrote for my mum, to tell her, her importance in my life and how much a I need her with every passing moment.

Jai Hind!!!

The definition of Independence Day, as taught to us in school, is "the day India was liberated from the British rule". The earliest memory I have of Independence is the school holiday and also of receiving "mithai" laddoos in primary school on the previous day. I also remember strangers handing out flags to people passing by, the delicous sweets made at home. Hence August 15th has always been a day of festivity and celebration.  August 15th was special for another reason – as a member of the girl guides I looked forward to participating in the Independence Day parade. Ah, those were the days!

'Mera Bharath Mahan' was the slogan of the day and my heart used to swell with pride every time I heard the song 'Mile Sur Mera Tumhara' on television.

Independence Day still remains a very special day to me. But the question remains..   Does celebrating our Independence Day on August 15th alone make us Independent? After 65 years of Independence, are we truly independent? In spite of the advancement in technology, is India Shining? No doubt people have more luxuries now than at the time of Independence, but rather than simplifying life, they only seem to have made things more complicated. Crime rates are on the increase and there is a decrease in racial tolerance.

For me, being independent means not having to go in search of greener pastures to a foreign land. Being independent means not nursing ambitions to possess a passport of a different colour. Being independent means not having to cringe when introducing your heavily accented South/North Indian colleague to your American/ British boss. Being independent means sending your child to an Indian school that follows an Indian curriculum without complaining about the wrong pronunciations and grammar that is being taught by the teacher (this may not be applicable to all). Being independent means not having to bribe your way through the rigmarole associated with any government/legal procedure. Being independent means being able to love everyone around me irrespective of caste, creed or colour and be concerned about everyone's welfare, as I am concerned about mine - to share what God has given me with those less privileged ones. India will be independent when each of her citizens is able to enjoy the fruits of freedom. Only then will India truly be Saare Jahan se Achcha Hindustaan Hamara.

To quote Rabindranath Tagore, "Where the mind is without fear and the head is held high, into the freedom of heaven let my country awake!" When this is accomplished, only then will we be truly independent. Jai Hind!

And to sum it up.. Dis one's for u Fr.Leslie Almeida.. Remembering the speech u wud give after the flag hoisting every year on this day begining with "Shayad 100 mein 90 behmann phir bhi mera Bharat Mahaan.".. Believe it or not every time i hear the national anthem i think of u

just some four letter words

hard
kiss
dark
loud
eyes
yell
grab
tear
soul
mind
ooze
drip
come

done

I dont suffer from insanity.. i enjoy every minute of it

I dont suffer from insanity.. i enjoy every minute of it

the weeks been killer.

1) Did you ever notice if you're in an elevator and there's only one other person there with you, they've got terrible gas? and you have to go 14 floors together?

2) How can something be new and improved? if it's new, what was it improving on?

3) What if you're in hell, and you're mad at someone, where do you tell them to go?

4) Did you know Humpty Dumpty was pushed?

5) If people from Poland are called Poles, why are not people from Holland called Holes?

Im losing it. hm, what is it? and did i ever have it? why does it have to be so important, if you dont have it, would you cease to exist? does it matter that you have no idea what you are talking about?

and as usual im sitting there mindin my own business when.....well for once nothing happened. i was just sittin there. the computer decided it wouldnt let me save my files, making things harder. i begged, i pleaded, even got down on my knees( u better not be thinkin anything funny here, pervert) - but it wouldnt listen. i even promised to marry it and be faithful and put the little chips thru law school..............nothing.

i am indeed alone.

and remember marriage means commitment. of course, so does insanity.

 

u know ur alone..

u know ur alone when
-theres no one else to take the last train home
-the clickin u hear is an echo in the emptiness
-the mirror cracks with no apparent reason
-the coffee machine spits out sludge
-tomorrow is a deadline that will never come
-there is only one trail
-the hollow siezed up
-the salt tasted like a bitter pill
-apathy is ur friend, friend? apathy is u
-the bomb that blew everything up didnt
-ur shadow never existed
-ur heart started beating
-the devil smiles at u
-smearing ur face with tears was tribute to the living
-regurgitating is entertainment
-that blade shined so
-the wall stares back at u
-the theory holds true
-all that blood u see is not urs

post in translation

estoy apesadumbrado que no utilicé el babel.

sitting and staring i began to think(that is a huge job - thinking) there was a time i nearly gave up on everything. nearly gave up on life itself. there were certain deciding factors that pushed me to that place. then there was just one thing, one person, who inadvertently changed the course of what could have been. so i'm here now. it is hard, but i can now progress, with a extended sense of being, towards the uncertain future. this is a future that holds good. choosing options, the right options....and after we spoke last night, i am more convinced. you should be too. you did think of it as well. not a coincidence. not a coincidence.

empty head
heavy heart
my life diminishes

thought/pondering/musing for the week: when you work in chaos, no one bothers you

if i said the last 3 weeks of my life were simply great, i would be lying.

it was beyond that. i have discovered, let go, cared for,  partied like it was the end of the world, worked like existence as a whole depended on it, touched, was touched, looked deep into the eyes of.., opened doors, laughed, hated myself even more, learn to live with, walked to the moon n back, re-lived and came out bruised, fell........and i dont want it to end.

I'm In Hate with Someone right now...............

You know at first I actually thought it was kinda funny, at first.... then it was just plain twisted .............and then the anger just bubbled over........

When people said curiosity killed the cat they were right........Its kills because what you see after its satisfied, just kills you.....Figuratively speaking........

you know its real when you see them flutterbies in the wind.
dont forget them "helicopters", works out in ways (in a state of freedom) we cant even decipher.
and they get to where they must be.

been busy
been an asshole
been thinking like my world depended on a despondent being
been destructive
looked forward to nothingness,
and all that it has got to offer
looked back at what could have been,
and so happy that it wasnt
looked away from the flash that nearly blinded
and thats when i caught a glimpse
looked at my hands and then my reflection
and i couldnt help but smile

if this is what there is, heck, i know where i wanna head even if i dont kno where im goin. perhaps the recent incident  provided for a change i didnt want but so desperately needed. puttin things into the proverbial perspective. the soul search ride into the cemetery garden and the near breakdown in the middle of nowhere. funny. hey girl u got an answer. did i ever mention that when i started thinking, noises surrounded me, the car horn sounded even better? there are no feelings but a rather matter-of-fact"ual" resonance.

"we dont do that here"
"U dont do that"
and so blah-di-blah-blah-bllllllaaaaaaahhhhh

A relationship works to the extent that it fullfills the needs of the two people involved.............
Sometimes you just have to look out for yourself..............
Today I realised that in the last few weeks I have been reliving a dream.......once possible but not anymore.......I think I just woke up.............Or maybe I just grew up....