I love fall. I love the change of colors, smells and
definitely the change of temperature! I love snuggling into a warm sweater and
hearing the leaves crunch under shoes. I can relate to the squirrels saving up
for winter. I’m all about the change of seasons, but changes in the seasons of
life…not so much.
I hate change. I’m what some would call boring. I’d rather
say I’m stable. I like routine. I like vanilla ice cream, if I’m feeling
particularly daring I’ll add chocolate sauce. I take the same route every time
I go to the station, grocery store, church or the mall. I like consistency,
stability and certainty. Period. Change?
Not a fan.
I just turned thirty. but, I will tell you, on my twentieth,
the BIG 2-0, I struggled. A lot. I knew this would be a decade of enormous
change and I dreaded it. Honestly, I was mad and terrified. At twenty, several
huge changes were staring down (or should I say up?) the hill, at me and I
wanted to run and hide.
These changes included being a responsible daughter. Facing grave life
issues, Worries at home- work- relationships, the decision to marry an unknown
person, change of home It’s really hard! Who knew?! Finally, I knew this decade
meant starting to go through “the change”. Don’t even get me started!
Unexpected facial hair and hormone flairs, really?!
Well, as you can tell I panicked at twenty. FYI, panicking
never helps. As I threw myself down on my house floor (yes, I actually did) I
was reminded and have had to remind myself over and over again. He never
changes. Life was changing in big emotionally exhausting ways all the time and
yet. He doesn’t change. Over the course of the last seven years, still in the
midst of these changes, He speaks in a still quiet voice through His Word.
"Nanu, I
don’t change."
"I
don’t get tired"
"I
don’t get overwhelmed."
"I
don’t freak out with hormonal changes."
"I
don’t grow weary and deplete."
"I
don’t change."
"I am
safe."
"I am
full."
"I am
complete."
"I am
Who you need."
"I
AM."
I have often
camped in Isaiah 40: 28-31 Reminding myself of what is true, because it is
true. I remind myself it doesn’t have to feel true to be true. Truth is true.
