Happy Father's Day Papa

I've never been great about sending cards, but I'm told I'm pretty good at this blogging thing.

So, this year for Father's Day, I dedicate this post to my Papa just to pen down how I feel.

I know I keep saying this, but let me say it again I love my Paa. I love to keep saying that and he finds a bit awkward to say it out loud; I don't know why it's awkward when we both feel that way in our hearts.

Second, he is the best Papa I could ever have and I thank God for him.

I never went without; I've always had the best food to eat, Best of clothes to wear, Best of places to go and an even more luxurious life and even though I know he likely had times that he worried about it, he never projected that worry to me. I had plenty of extras, too

Third, I want to thank him for his advice over the years. There is one specific nugget he gave me that I've always kept close to my heart.

"What you do when you don't have to, will make all the difference when you can no longer do anything about it."

Which means, work hard now, give it your best effort while you still can, because eventually, you run out of time to make it happen, or fix it. This piece of advice helped me be a good student and a fiercely determined individual.

Fourth, I am thankful to him for being the example and setting my standards so high.

Last, my Papa has played a great role for helping to shape me into the woman I am today.

We may not always agree, and we may not have always gotten along too well, but that's because he taught me strength of character, stubbornness, standing strong in my beliefs - even when they're different from other people's, independence, self-reliance and a host of other survival skills. 

Most of all, from life experiences, he taught me to live with no, or few regrets. That was one of the greatest gifts he could have given me.

Instead of feeling that I had to live my life a certain way, I saved some people's lives, I saw things I wish I hadn't, and I made decisions about life that changed me as a person. Even so, may be i have regrets, I did what I'd always wanted to do.

By my Papa’s example, I live my life with decency and honesty, without worrying about what anyone else thinks.

Papa thank you for all of what you gave me. I would not be who I am today without you.

I love you, Papa. Happy Father's Day.

Dear God, Thank You For All The Not so Good Things That Happened To Me

I don’t know if I believed there’s a God out there. But, right-now, I would like to believe that there is. And for now, I would like to believe that there’s more to life than heartbreak, betrayal and loss. I would like to believe that there are far better things than the ones we no longer have. I would like to believe that good in this world always wins. I would like to believe that we’ll find what we are looking for. And that happiness is possible to have and easy to obtain.

Dear God, thank you for the bad people who came into my life. They showed me the kind of person I don’t want to be. They helped me understand how good of a person I really am. Falling in love with people who didn’t deserve my kindness, my forgiveness or my love, made me see my worth. Trusting bad people taught me to forgive myself. Sharing my most vulnerable moments with people who don’t have good intentions taught me that we are always in control even when we don’t believe it.

Dear God, thank you for the grief I experienced too young because it made me resilient. I am not destroyed by the people who leave me because those have left already. I am not broken by unfortunate situations because I have lived moments when I thought I will never survive. I am not changed by what happens to me because I have seen hell and it only cleansed my soul.

Dear God, thank you for making me different. I am thankful that I don’t fit in, that I don’t belong here. I am thankful that wherever I go, I am the outsider. I feel like I’m in a constant battle with the world to simply be who I am. Because in a world of fake perfection, I’m honestly flawed. And in a world of money, status, looks and ego, I’m rich of my realness. It’s sadistic to have no home to go to. But, it’s a blessing in disguise because it sets you free.

Dear God, thank you for making me complicated. Over thinking drives me crazy but it protects me. It helps me predict what will happen, to see things before they come and to feel what’s wrong before I understand it. Being a deep person stole years away from me because it took time for me to heal. But, experiencing every feeling life could offer me, made my life journey magical. My nature of loving too much nearly killed me once too many times, but it allowed me to love someone other than myself, to look at someone and see them for who they are.

Dear God, thank you for all the bad things that happened to me because they gave meaning to my life. They made me see how good life is and how better it can be. The bad things made me humble that when the best things come and I have it all, I will cherish it. Because only then will I know what it is like to have nothing at all