The strive for improvement

Class 2 – Result – 96.45% - Remark – Can do much better!

Class 12 - Result – 72% - Remark- This is scope for improvement

ABC Ltd – Appraisal for the year 2008 – “Try and aim for better results.”

XYZ Ltd – Appraisal for the year 2013 – “Numbers could have been better!!”

Since the day I have been born to till date the one most common feedback I hear is “You need to improve.” From my school results to my professional appraisals the only thing which seems to be the highlight is that there is immense scope of improvement.

Sample this: My friend enrolled me for an activity which was of her interest in my childhood. Once I caught her lamenting to someone that there is so much improvement possible in learning this activity from my end. [Can anyone please tell her that my interest level depends on the activity which happens to be of her interest – How on earth m I supposed to excel in that!!!?]

I had been toiling hard for one full year in ABC Ltd. At the time of appraisal my heart was beating fast anticipating some appreciation for my hard work. The telephonic conversation started like you have done some brilliant work in this year...Blah blah…..But it could still have been better. Whoa…. I was getting “you know the pink could have been more pink and the red more redder” types of feedback!!! 

Even while growing up I am accustomed to feedback like, “You are very short tempered – you need to improve.”  I have free advisors readily available to pour their advices on me which range on anything from my weight to my behaviour to my dressing to my talking. I sometimes feel that even the way I breathe might need improvement!

Over the years the only thing that has changed is the topic or area of improvement while the need for improvement just doesn’t diminish. It constantly keeps on resurfacing time and again in some form or other. Life seems to be a constant strive for improvement for me. And yes I am improving.

I-M-PROVING myself..

A Date With Oneself...

"You have to leave the city of your comfort and go into the wilderness of your intuition.  What you'll discover will be wonderful.  What you'll discover is yourself." - Alan Alda

It's too easy for us to give ourselves away to the world. Work, family, relationships, peers, and future, all of them have a tremendous influence over us. We tend to hide in them. We tend to sway to everything that's happening around us.  

Losing oneself to something is important, it's essential to life. But not to an extent, where it becomes nearly impossible for us to rediscover ourselves. Discovering one's true identity in this ever so confusing world is an herculean task that lies ahead of us...

We go for dates with dear ones.  We treat others, others treat us! We spend time thinking and contemplating about everything and everyone. But, ask yourself, which is the time of the day, or week or month when you actually spend it alone all by yourself. When was the last time you were alone, dating yourself. Treating yourself to just what you like. 

It doesn't necessarily have to be a real date of munching and crunching, watching movies and experiencing a shopping spree. You don't always have to compromise on your bank account. There are things which come free in life...

Things like cooking a giant meal to eat, watching a favorite film, spending hours reading your favorite book, taking a walk in the deserted lane, or just plain thinking about yourself, where you are headed for or what is it that makes you completely happy  and miserably sad, are good enough.

Our minds are never void of worries, of things which are ready to pounce and knock and break us every time we sit back with our eyes closed trying our best to think of those very few 'glorious' moments....

Yet, i strongly feel that there has to be a moment when all we know is loneliness. Yes i mean it.  Take some time off to discover the person in you by doing for a change what you want to do. Only then will you get a satisfaction and true desire to do for others. 

Trust me, there is nothing else that would make you happier.

The stain, the pain & the gain

Can a relationship be like a tea-stain? Why or why not?

On reading the prompt, my mind started running bonkers imagining various things.

First thought:

An imaginary TV commercial where a young Indian housewife dressed in a typical off white saree is showing her husband’s shirt with a big tea stain on it. She exclaims, “Maine sab kuch karke dekha….par yeh daag….to nikalta hai nahi.”  and throws the shirt in exasperation. He he he he :)

Second thought:

Of a restaurant where a high class socialite is proudly discussing her latest shopping adventures with a friend when the waiter erroneously drops the tea on her beautiful white dress. “Eww…..!!!” she screams…. “Do you even know how much that costs? You clumsy fellow….. “And walks away in a huff with the waiter standing there bewildered not knowing what to do next. ROFL !!!! :D

Giving rest to my imagination I shake my head and get back to some serious thinking about the “Tea Stains” in question here.

After a long thought, I conclude yes a relationship can be like tea stains because for me stains are like scars. They remind us of beautiful lessons we have learnt in life , though the harder way. Every stain has a story behind it; could be happy or sad. Same ways every relationship has its own story with its own ending good or bad.

Another striking similarity between relationships and tea stains is the mark they leave us with. On a lighter note, maybe the tea stains are much easier to get rid of ,but the marks some people leave on our hearts / souls is impossible to get rid of. They touch our lives in a way that we are never ever the same again.

The stronger the tea the firmer the stain the longer it takes to get rid of it. Same way the longer the relationship, the deeper emotional attachment the more difficult it gets to deal with its end.It is said some relationships God chooses for us, some we choose for ourselves. But I very firmly believe there are some relationships that choose us. We never realize when we tend to take up a very special place in someone’s life never to be replaced again.

Like I have said in one of my earlier posts, life is all about relationships. We tend to give them different names but at the core they remain the same - a bond which ties us together. The world would be such a place without all those wonderful relations around us.They tend to make us what we are, giving us a sense of belonging.

That first proposal , that first interview, that first date with your college crush, holding your child for the first time in your hands…etc the list is endless about occasions where you are happy and nervous at the same time. Those stolen glances, shivering hands, confused smiles all these definitely lay the plot for a minuscule mistake in the form of a  chanced dropping of tea on that 'favourite' dress leaving a stain. I am sure even after years when by chance we find that dress it would be a trip down the memory lane for us. Memories which are cherished forever, just like this stain !! Like it is said there is no gain without pain, I wish to add every stain causes us some pain but in the end results into a gain. Every stain causes some discomfort in the beginning but always turns into a sweet memory to be remembered with a chuckle.They form a beautiful part of the book called LIFE

Would like to end it with the famous Surf Excel Ad quote,”Daag Acche hote hai!”

..And You Still Talk Of Growing Up?

"I've heard that it's possible to grow up - I've just never met anyone who's actually done it." - Meredith grey

Oh! I have grown up haven't I? I am exactly 29 years 2 months and 2 days old. I wish I could count the minutes and the seconds too but...never mind..As the years would progress,  I would be frantically making every effort to hide that single strand of grey hair. I would become more obsessed than ever to lose weight.  I would complain about knee pain, tooth ache and poor vision and the list can go on...

One day I might start wishing about getting at least two decades of my life back and relive it differently. I might also grumble about the things that i have never received and  the things that I have sacrificed.  The fact is that I would act just as any other normal human being would. 

But still we all grow up and we die to. We can't wait, can we? To start gossiping, dating, working, voting, and of course all those 'hush hush' things which have been tagged as restricted and obscene.  Can't blame ourselves, it's all part of growing up. You know the 'fun elements' of crossing 'the 18 years old' line.Yyeeeaaaayyy!!!

But hey!can you try and fuel up your brain a little bit more and go back to ask yourself if you have actually grown up? Ask yourself the real meaning rather than just a manifested one. Being a little kid one of the main anticipations is to grow old....Just chronologically isn't it?? 

We are still the same even years after we have taken birth. The only thing that changes is the age factor. Here is why...We don't grow wise, we don't stop playing with the so called 'feelings'. We don't stop getting hurt (not exactly talking about the apparent scars, are we?). We forget what some people gave us but we remember to whom we have done. 

We grow up right? And yet, we still cry dumping our heads into the pillow weeping till all tears have been shed, finally bringing us some uneasy sleep (sshhh... no one knows it!).  We still fight over silly matters. We still want to cling on to things which we claim rightfully to be ours. We still don't want to share. We still make enemies. We still lose things. We still believe in dreams even if they get shattered later on. 

We still  crave, we still act innocent, we still try and mend things, things which are not that easy to mend anymore. We still laugh heartily as if it's as genuine as it used to be. We still are scared to live alone. And finally we still live, live and live even after the worst nightmares that have hit us...

We experience each of these and much more, just as much as we have sensed during our childhood years. The manner becomes just a little different. Think about it and you will be able to connect.

 And you talk about growing up??