Maturity Demystified

I was caught off guard recently when a blogger friend asked me to explain what maturity means, and the qualities one should possess to be seen as a mature individual.

Frankly, it's not the question that got me stumped. It's who he posed that question to that almost made me tumble off my swivelling chair.

Look at me. I am the last person you would ask about maturity - seriously. I have irrational mood swings. I am freakingly emotional. I have that occasional but sudden passionate outbursts. I can be rash and impetuous. And I am a li'l girl trapped in an aging, decaying, horizontally expanding and vertically challenged body.

Ok ok. I shouldn't make excuses for myself. Since you've asked - my dear friend, so you shall receive. My concept of maturity may be warped, so please take what I blog here with a huge spoonful of salt.

Maturity - to me - is a mindset, which in turn will translate into observable behavioural patterns, and materializing in several forms such as responses, reactions, actions and speech. It is a state of the mind.

Simply put, maturity comes from within. It is often determined by oneself, but defined by others.

For example, I may feel that I'm mature because I have been through a lot in life and accumulated pain and experience along the way to emphatize and offer solid advice. I may be mature in handling work issues and politics. I'm less emotional when it comes to focusing on my goals and pursuing my dreams. My head sits tightly screwed on my shoulders when I'm depended upon to offer solutions to critical problems. My sensible and responsible nature reflect the mature me in the eyes of my friends.

On the flipside of the coin, I could also seem immature during the times I throw my tantrums, sulk or exhibit a ridiculously unreasonable behaviour, or any of the other actions I've listed in the earlier paragraphs.  I  falter in the face of challenge and give up when things do not go my way

Many could not resist equating age to maturity. After spending 28years struggling in the real world, I discovered a number of older people I've encountered in the days of my life, work, school and social network are quite a distance from the nirvana state of maturity.

You cannot imagine the childish words that sprung forth from their mouths when they are angry or upset. You can hardly believe your eyes when they react mindlessly to protect their egos or pride. You cannot help laughing at the few who resort to juvenile acts for personal gains.

I don't have to go really far to prove my point. Look around you at the heads of state who fell out of favour with their people; men with graying hair in the likes of Osama bin Laden; historical figures in power who committed some of the world's gravest mistakes. Maturity seems to elude them too, isn't it?

I can't tell for sure what qualities you really need to be deem a mature person. In my humble and baseless opinion, I would think that he would be objective, calm, reasonable, and righteous (morally sound, that is). He would have the ability to differentiate right from wrong, truth from fiction, good from evil. He takes no sides, spreads no gossips, bears no grudges and exacts no vengeance.

I guess whenever I'm on the verge of veering towards the immaturity complex, I can always go back to that one reference who embodies "maturity" in every aspect of his behaviour and thought.

Think Jesus.

One really effective way is to infuse these 4 letters in each and every part of your life - WWJD.

What Would Jesus Do?

"Maturity is achieved when a person postpones immediate pleasures for long-term values." ~ Joshua Loth Liebman

Life Lesson

I whine a lot when things are out of my control. I want to change that, Well something struck me again today. I planned my schedule that I would go to church today before I make it to office, so I went to pick up flowers before going to church (particularly also bcoz I specifically wanted to ask a special angel to intercede for me and that angel now in heaven, while on earth loved flowers). I went to one of those tiny shops on the main road. The florist was not more than 20 years old, someone whose innocence seems unaffected by all the bad things in the world. He was so happy to put together a bunch of roses for me, picking out the best of the best.
I saw a bunch of these flowers and other decorative items made of wood and plastic and what not. I thought they’d look damn pretty at home. So I took a yellow flower. When I paid him for the roses, I reminded him of the flower I took. He smiled and said I didn’t have to pay for it since I seem to like it so much. That just made my day!
I asked him about his work. He works 14 hours a day, from 7 in the morning to 9 at night, every day. 14 hours!! He lives about 20 kilometers away. He eats his lunch there itself. He seemed happy doing what he’s doing. So he had been working for 13 hours straight, from the pleasant morning breeze to the scorching afternoon sun to the crazy night traffic and noise, when he said I could keep that flower because I liked it. Despite a long day’s work with no roof over his head, he found it in him to make me happy.
And there I was complaining about the routine of spending 10hours a day in the office, traveling in a First Class Mumbai local, getting coffee and biscuits, all in a comfortable, air conditioned setting. Even so, by the end of my day, I’m just tired and pissed off and in no mood to make anyone smile.
I keep coming across such simple people who spread joy in their own, tiny ways. People who know, a small thing can go a long way. And every time I forget, I meet another awesome person who reminds me again.
Until next time, love.

Were you beautiful today?

I’ve been waiting for the favourable moment to rant about this and I’ve no shame in sharing this stuff I wrote a few days back and why should I? So, this is it. Here I go–


Everyone needs to have a good look at the aura but subtle connotations of “pretty” – it’s someone who’s complexion is usually light. Yes, we’re all in denial about that – but have a good look at fairness creams and Beyoncé/ nicki bleaching their skin and Jourdan Dunn making headlines for being a “black model” on the cover of vogue uk – why is that even news?


I recently walked into Bodyshop to buy basic moisturizing lotion that makes my face look uniform. The first thing I got handed was one that was 2 complexions fairer than my sun-kissed self. I told her I wanted one that was EXACTLY my complexion- Not one shade light, not half a shade light. I mean, I loathe girls looking like Queen Elizabeth from their foreheads down to their chins. I’m very happy being the sun honey brown, and I think that the skin that wraps your bones has nothing to do with how fabulous people truly look when they’re sure of themselves just as they are. I mean, have you SEEN Lupita? Woo-man!